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Wisconsinstock 2008

The rock star Obama has stolen the show. Amid fainting girls and cheering masses, voter turnout was higher than Barack in high school. Upon reading an ABC News article detailing exit polls from the Wisconsin primary, the following truths have been revealed to me:

"Turnout by independents in the Republican race looks to be down from the last primary for which we have comparable data, in 1996."

Really? Maybe because they were too busy sitting on their hands, frozen with the knowledge that no matter what happens, they're pulling the GOP lever in November. Or for readers in Florida, impregnating the GOP chad. Republicans, Independents, and Libertarians should understand that politics is never about purity, but always about choices.

And speaking of choices, you don't seem to have many. You have to recognize your future is wrapped up inside a bitter little pill -- one which you're eventually going to have to swallow. There are seemingly two doses at this point: President Obama, or President McCain. When the moment comes, Conservatives better swallow with some semblance of unity or they're done for.

McCain gave no one the surprise of their life as he shuffleboarded into an easy victory.

"On candidate attributes...someone who can 'bring about needed change' is tops by far for Democrats; among Republicans, as in previous primaries, it's someone who 'shares my values.'"

I think this is one of the most accurate sentences I've seen in the media in a long time. Too bad it goes without saying. This spells the end for Hillary Clinton. Liberal voters are just squirming for "change," and to them, playing a game of National-Twister with the compass needle of American destiny seems infinitely more appealing than giving McCain four years at the helm. It's a scary thought for me too.

Hillary put all of her eggs (including those hatched with her "husband") into the "experience" basket instead of the "change" basket. Obama didn't have this option...obviously. This mistake has been primarily responsible for her collapse, and now she's going down faster than a lightheaded Obama supporter. And on the subject of fainting, is Barack the new Beatles?

Above: Barack. More palatable than Hillary.
More popular than Jesus.


Hillary's experience is meaningless if not an obvious indicator that she is not to be trusted with power. This we all know. But her support seems to be dwindling, having gone the way of the Dodo. Or rather, the way of the Rose Law Firm billing records. Remember that, girlfriend?

In the end, Barack Obama blessed the blissful with another victory:

  • More women voted for him. (51-49)
  • More whites voted for him. (53-46)
  • More white men voted for him. (59-38)
  • All age groups under 65 voted for him.
  • All education levels voted for him.
  • All regions of the state voted for him.
I imagine every one of those bullet points as a nail in Hillary's coffin.

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