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Congressman: Obama Belongs in the Bible

Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. is the latest to have been swept up in the divinely messianic fever that is Obama's campaign for President. This man is being heralded as the second coming, the man who will slow the "rise of the oceans," and Jackson makes no small case for the biblical significance of our friend Barry:
"What Barack Obama has accomplished is the single most extraordinary event that has occurred in the 232 years of the nation’s political history. The event itself is so extraordinary that another chapter could be added to the Bible to chronicle its significance.”
We will now rise now to read from the book of Obamelech, chapter 61 verse 4:
And G-d said to him, "Go forth throughout the nation and build up your base, and if you shall fill it with all the Marxists and all the useful fools of the land, be they darkened or light, corpulent or emaciated, with the promises of good will and fortune and the disintegration of sorrow in the hearts of men, if you shall affirm your covenant to bring forth the heavens upon the Earth, you shall know the light of the savior within is brightly burning."
Of course that was written by yours truly, but honestly - what the hell is wrong with these people? Oh, and if you think the "heavens upon the Earth" part is a bit over the top, Obama himself has claimed, "I am confident that we can create a Kingdom right here on Earth." Look at the rest of his sermon (err...I mean, speech) from last week in Minnesota:
"I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment...when we began to provide care for the sick and give jobs to the jobless. This was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal."
After all, if he doesn't slow the rise of the oceans, he may never be able to walk on them. For clarity's sake, have you ever wondered why secular socialists are so intent on attempting to create heavenly utopias on Earth? Because despite the horrible things that occur when you chase Marx's impossible dream, they don't believe there will eventually be one after they die.

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